Highways, Hymns and Hospitals

My Grandma was admitted to the hospital on wednesday night and had an emergency surgery to remove her colon and work on some other things. She didn't wake up from the surgery till saturday, so when we were with her their was no response. My mom was once in a coma and said that even though they are not awake they can hear you and its a comfort to hear your voice. So I went this week, pulled up a chair to her bed, held her hand and sang to her. At first I sang all the hymns I could think of and then some more praise and worship songs. Then I would read scripture and just pray over her. It was really hard for me because there is no response but it was really good for me to, because I had a sweet time with the Lord thanking Him for the hope we have in HIm. While reading one scripture verse I just started crying at the thought of eternity, death and the realization that we never know when that is and how important it is to be prepared. Its important to live every day in light of eternity. It has been a sweet journey to be with my wonderful Grandma.

I am exhausted due to all of the driving (takes me at least 1 hour each way) but holding on to hope and praying for quick recovery. If you haven't meditated on the thought of eternity I want to ask that you would take a moment and just think and ask the Lord to help you live your life in light of eternity, sharing the story of eternal life (the gospel of Jesus Christ) with others.

Heart Vulnerability

This post is difficult to write, not because of the words but because it is the most vulnerable post I have ever written, making it very hard for me. I believe as a follower of Jesus Christ I am called to be genuine and share what Christ is doing in my life and the seasons and molding He is doing in my hearts. That is why I have decided to write this.

As one of my friends reminded me the other day, there are many seasons in life, they are called seasons cause they change. The season of life I am is wedding season. Its seems like everyone is either getting married, married, engaged or about to be any day. For years I have said that I LOVE being single, and I really do enjoy this season of life, but that doesn't mean that I can't hope, pray and long for the marriage season of life. As the Lord showed me the other day, I can be content in Him, yet still feel a longing for a husband. The Lord has had to soften my heart to show me that its not wrong to feel real hurts and feelings. Sometimes it takes moments like that where our hardened shell is broken & humbled so that God can speak to our wounds.

The other night, after returning from a ministry meeting I arrived home and no one was there. I sat down and it hit me that my little brother was on his honeymoon, my other brother hanging out with his wife, my other brother hanging out with his serious girlfriend, and my parents were off together, just to name a few of my close friends. I thought, well I guess I will take this loneliness and just take the quiet evening to pray and read scripture. As I sat by the lake tears began to pour out from the deepest part of my heart, displaying something I didn't know existed. I was longing and desiring a companion like I have never before. I was pouring out my prayers before the Lord, feeling broken before Him, asking Him to be that in my life. When I was reminded its not unbiblical to desire a husband. In fact God created marriage and its a very biblical thing to desire and pray for. After being out there for a while my parents got home, as I was journaling I heard someone come up. It was my precious Papa, he was coming to sit and talk with me and asked if he could take me out on a boat ride. So we went on a boat ride on our lake and he let me talk, cry and was so compassionate and kind. Then he talked and prayed with me. My dad specifically prayed for my future husband and me in an incredible way. This was such a precious memorable time for me, as the man in my life poured into my heart and encouraged me in the Lord. I am so thankful for such a godly Father. I walked away from that time humbled beyond belief, because I was reminded of my prideful attitude of "I don't need a guy or want one" and how the Lord had shown me that in my vulnerability with Him, that the Lord has me in this season of growing and growing hurts sometimes. It was a healthy and wonderful time feeling something real and working through it with the Lord.

I wrote this not to make me sound like a girl who is dying to get married, because that is not what I am, I am very content on waiting on the Lord; But to encourage all of the other single ladies out there that feel the same way I do sometimes and feel like it is an ungodly way to feel. Sometimes our christianity makes it out like if you aren't completely satisfied, content, and not longing for a husband than you are not walking close with the Lord. I DO NOT believe this is true at all, in fact I think its a healthy stage of life to work through these hurts with the Lord, it doesn't make them totally go away but you grow in great ways through them. You can have an intimate walk with Jesus, being content in singleness yet desire and hope for marriage. That is completely normal and healthy. Just wanted to encourage some incredible single ladies I know that are in a season of waiting on the Lord. Keep seeking HIm, being vulnerable enough so God can soften your heart and mold & make you more like His Son.

Psalm 10:17
LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble;
You will prepare their heart;
You will cause Your ear to hear,

Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.

Psalm 33:20
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help
and our shield.

Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

Wedding CRAZINESS

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, life has been just CRAZY. My baby brother Tim just got married on Saturday so needless to say we have been in wedding mode for quite a few weeks. We had several precious family drive all the way from Wisconsin to come celebrate with us, so that was a special treat for them to stay with us. On top of family and friends coming in town, my AMAZING mom and I (and some help from our family) cooked all of the food for the reception( 350 people) and for the rehearsal dinner (50 people) on top of all the normal stuff. We had a blast at the wedding and are BEYOND excited about their union together in marriage. God truly wrote their love story, and it is so encouraging to see Him leading and blessing them along the way. Rachel is a huge treasure to our family and I am so grateful for a sister-in-law who loves the Lord, her family, and TIM :)She will be a great help mate to him as they journey through this life together.

The ceremony was beautiful and I was not planning on crying, but when Rachel walked down the aisle and Tim began to cry I lost it. What a precious time it was as they exchanged vows before their dear family and friends, together taking the covenant of marriage. A sweet song called "home" was sung, with words talking about no matter where you go, where you are is home.

The reception turned out pretty good as well, with the highlight being Tim singing his original song that he wrote for her. It was a complete surprise to her, and she cried as he played his guitar and sang of their love. Some of the words are this " 1,2 all that we need is just me and you, everything will be alright, be just fine forever, every day will talk and we'll pray just the two of us, nothing but trust, what God has formed, let no one come between you and me..................."We have come as two today, and we will leave as one." It was PRECIOUS! Then they drove off to have a honey moon on the cruise.

After the wedding a bunch of my family and friends came to party at our house. All of us younger people :) took a trip to star-bucks, then remembered the next day was Mother's day and made a trip to wal-mart and publix to get our gifts. We had a lot of fun in the car dancing and just hanging out. Then when we got home we ate (again) and had a dance party out side by the lake. We had a lot of fun but everyone didn't' leave till 2am so it was a long day for all of us.
It was a huge blessing to have all our dear friends and family in town :)

Mother's day was wonderful but we weren't recovered from the wedding and still had guests in town so it was not a normal celebration. But I certainly do have the BEST mom in the whole world. She is truly my hero and friend. She not only teaches me about the Lord, but she leads with her example in every area, whether its being a godly supportive wife, being domestic and taking care of your family, mothering or mentoring she is just amazing! I am truly a blessed girl.

Overall it was a wonderful weekend with great memories, however I am still exhausted, and not at all recovered.

Sorry about the random thoughts that are not very organized but at least its written. Here are some pictures from the weekend.

Loving on the Least of these

“Beep Beep” My alarm went off after what seemed like a very short nap. Rubbing my eyes, feeling exhaustion sweep through my body, I turned off my alarm and opened the curtains. This was our last day in the city located in the mountains of Ecuador which had been our home the last few days. The sky was the clearest it has been all week and the sun already was shimmering across the lovely vivacious pink flowers right outside my window. After getting dressed, packing up and getting our nutrients for the day we all gathered in what we called the “upper room”. It was in this room that earlier this week the team practiced humility, servant hood and leadership as we washed each other’s feet and through tears prayed over each other.

This however a dear couple who had become so close to all of our hearts was sharing their story. The missionaries Daniel and Anna had a very special story of hardship, waiting on the Lord, and their life’s journey of finding treasure in the Lord and not in earthly things. “How long have you lived” Daniel asked a lovely teenage girl in the front row, “eighteen years” she replied. He then responded with the question “what have you done in your eighteen years?” and began an incredible challenge on living life with a purpose and passion of Christ; He reminded the captivated audience “each generation is responsible to bring the gospel to their generation.” In closing he asked the adult leaders to come forward, and asked the students who felt the tug on their hearts from the Holy Spirit to surrender their life for the purpose God had for them, to come forward and grab a leader. Shortly after this request, two of my beautiful young ladies I was privilege to have in my group came and grabbed my hand. After a long talk, tears, prayers and challenges, they both had told me that God was working in their hearts to surrender their lives to missions. What a huge moment. In their hearts they had heard the call of God and surrendered to, asking for voices of encouragement, wisdom and accountability for the task ahead. God has something special for this lovely ladies and it was a privilege to see the beginning of a great work in their precious hearts. This was a start of a beautiful day, seeing that it was only 10:00 AM at this point.



After the team photo, the group was split into 3 buses- orphanage, sight seeing and nursing home. I had no idea what was in store as we prepared to be the hands and feet of Jesus and love on the least of these. Heading to the nursery home I didn’t know what to expect but was excited to see what the Lord has in store. We parked and then walked a couple of blocks till we arrived at the location. Walking up the concrete stairs, the air was filled with the scent of laundry and cooking. We were greeted by several little old ladies, giving us a smile and a kiss. As I walked from the kitchen I arrived into a much larger room, where a woman with dark skin as leather, with little to no teeth sat hovered over a bowl cutting and eating bits of apple. I attempted to converse with her, but it seemed as if she was unresponsive. To the left other sat a hunched old woman, with gray hair, little and saddened eyes, who sat very still. I go on my knees beside her, gave a quick hug and once again tried to speak with my broken Spanish. She replied and I beckoned one of our students who spoke Spanish to come and help me understand what she was saying. Now, I was holding her hand smiling, nodding as if I could understand and grateful for the precious young man who was helping me. She first asked why we were here and then began to scold both of us for not wearing sweaters, just like a sweet grandmother. She kept caressing my face and hair, squeezing my hands and telling me that I was beautiful. She then asked us to play some music and sing I had to prepare and the program started, but dear Abraham stayed by her side the whole time, showing how much he truly cared.

During the time where the Pastor was addressing all of the gray haired, the manger of the home pulled two of the girls aside and asked them to follow her somewhere, so they grabbed ma and a translator and we followed her up a high flight of stairs. As we entered this small room immediately our nostrils were filled with a foul stench, as we saw this crazed elderly woman on a bed, covered with tissue of some sort, with a nametag on the wall above her. The kind manger explained that she is a mean bitter old woman, who cannot speak anything understandable. She was lost in her own world- a small room where she did everything and never left. I then asked her if she would like us to sing a song, as she gave the go ahead we began singings’; “Lead me to the cross, where your love poured out, bring me to my knees Lord I lay me down…” As we ended a huge smile hung upon her face as we once again individually wrapped our arms around her, giving a warm hug. This was a raw experience where I was overwhelmed with joy as I watched our students love the least of these.

After we joined the group they began to serve beverages and a cake we brought with us. With huge smiles a couple of the students asked for permission to bring that special treat to the bitter old woman in the room up stairs. It was precious to see them sharing Christ’s love by serving the physical substance but sharing with them about the only thing that can fulfill your life.

My eyes once again caught the old woman I had talked with before. I saw Abraham feeding her the special cake and saw that his eyes revealed a deep sorrow in his heart for her. Once again I got on my knees and held her hand. Then helped finish off feeding her the cake. She asked if I was married, and told me again how much she loved my hands and thought they were so soft ☺. The next sentence I couldn’t get, Abraham who was interpreting the conversation, had tears rolling down his cheeks. After taking several moments he told me that she had told him that she had no one. All her family had died, no one ever visits her and that she was all alone. She told him that we were a miracle of God, and she didn’t want us to leave. Her old, distant and sorrowful eyes were filled with tears as she tried to understand why we couldn’t come back and see her. She was saddened by the thought of being alone again. We hugged and kissed her, Abraham still shedding tears, mine flowing as well. As I asked to pray for her, through tears I asked the Lord Jesus to watch over my new friend one more time before we walked away. My heart was crushed by her loneliness, sadness and hopeless. We had shared Christ and told her that if she knew Jesus that one day she would see us in heaven. God burdened my heart for all of the lonely hearts in this world that live life with no hope. They need the only Hope and satisfaction, which is salvation in Jesus Christ. That was one of the many stories from the trip, which compel me not to keep the gospel to myself but to share the good news to others. May the Lord open our eyes to see the needs of people around us, and give us boldness and compassion to share HIM with them

Ecuador part 2

“Beep Beep” My alarm went off after what seemed like a very short nap. Rubbing my eyes, feeling exhaustion sweep through my body, I turned off my alarm and opened the curtains. This was our last day in the city located in the mountains of Ecuador which had been our home the last few days. The sky was the clearest it has been all week and the sun already was shimmering across the lovely vivacious pink flowers right outside my window. After getting dressed, packing up and getting our nutrients for the day we all gathered in what we called the “upper room”. It was in this room that earlier this week the team practiced humility, servant hood and leadership as we washed each other’s feet and through tears prayed over each other.

This however a dear couple who had become so close to all of our hearts was sharing their story. The missionaries Daniel and Anna had a very special story of hardship, waiting on the Lord, and their life’s journey of finding treasure in the Lord and not in earthly things. “How long have you lived” Daniel asked a lovely teenage girl in the front row, “eighteen years” she replied. He then responded with the question “what have you done in your eighteen years?” and began an incredible challenge on living life with a purpose and passion of Christ; He reminded the captivated audience “each generation is responsible to bring the gospel to their generation.” In closing he asked the adult leaders to come forward, and asked the students who felt the tug on their hearts from the Holy Spirit to surrender their life for the purpose God had for them, to come forward and grab a leader. Shortly after this request, two of my beautiful young ladies I was privilege to have in my group came and grabbed my hand. After a long talk, tears, prayers and challenges, they both had told me that God was working in their hearts to surrender their lives to missions. What a huge moment. In their hearts they had heard the call of God and surrendered to, asking for voices of encouragement, wisdom and accountability for the task ahead. God has something special for this lovely ladies and it was a privilege to see the beginning of a great work in their precious hearts. This was a start of a beautiful day, seeing that it was only 10:00 AM at this point.

Ecuador part 1

My heart was overwhelmed with awe, as I opened my eyes and caught a glimpse of the majestic mountains. The sky foggy with a light mist coming down upon the tropical foliage that immersed the outside gardens was sweetness to my soul. The sound of a horse clambering, birds singing, and insects making a distinct noise was the first sounds that filled my heart. I was finally in Ecuador. I had been planning, preparing and praying for this time for months, and now it had finally arrived.

After a breakfast of eggs, coffee, and fresh juice from tree tomatoes as they call it, we were off. The area we had come to was filled with pure indigenous people. Our team had traveled thousands of miles to tell them the greatest story of hope, and the only Hope anyone could have. Buses piled, we headed to a local school. As we departed from the vehicle I began to notice all of the dark skinned, dark hair, and big beautiful eyes that surrounded me. These children had chubby cheeks and inviting smiles, immediately my heart melted. After exchanging some greetings and light conversation through my broken Spanish, I opted for the international language- a big smile and a hug. The team soon set up and the school children swarmed the benches to watch the curiously different white people. Our students from America performed many different dramas, songs, magic tricks and other programs, but the best part was yet to come. In the quietness of my heart I began to lift up a prayer to the only God, the God who hears and has my heart. Praying for the souls of these precious children, that they would come to know Jesus Christ as their Savior. A message was spoke and an opportunity was given for the children to respond and hear more of what these foreign people had come to share. Our team split up and children poured out of the benches, like spilled milk running anxiously to circle around our teens.

As I scanned the horizon I saw several groups with at least one of our students, a translator, and many children huddled around, zoomed in to the greatest story every told. Their hearts were open, receptive and hungry to hear of the one true God who sent His sinless son to die in our place, so that we may have eternal life in Him. I was amazed at the child like faith and how even the simplest things, like the gospel, adults seem to overanalyze where children have such a true, genuine and simple faith. My heart swelled, as I once again was reminder of My Savior who made the wondrous mountains in the distances and who made each and every heart there. He is the Creator of the Universe, yet such a personal Savior. That was the beginning of the first of many days where my life was lifted, swelled and humbled with the goodness of a story that happened thousand of years ago that still has the only hope and only salvation anyone could have.

Crazy but great days at home

Monday we got in late, around 4ish and then I hit the ground running. I cleaned my house then left for an amazing time at bible study. Its been the best group of girls I have ever been with in studying God's word and I cherish the time together, taking God's treasures and applying them to our lives. Again I left so challenged and convicted.

Tuesday was a great day babysitting, cleaning a house and then having dinner with my brothers and catching up on my coupons and grocery lists. Wednesday I spent grocery shopping, cleaning and cooking. So needless to say I was SO ready to fall into my bunk and go to sleep Wednesday night when we left for the last weekend of Winter Jam. Its has been an incredible journey on Winter Jam this year. God is working in such great ways and I count it a blessing and privilege to be able to watch Spirit at work in such a great way. What an honor to be a part of the Winter Jam team, and work for such incredible godly servants of the Lord, the Nolans. I am grateful for the blessings of the Lord and excited to see what the weekend holds!