Sometimes in our seasons of waiting we wonder if we are making a difference or making use of the wonderful season we are entrusted with. We desire so much to be making the most the present and often wonder if we are actively waiting or passively standing.
I am in a time of singleness which I have often spoke of on this blog, and this most certainly is a time of waiting. All of my best friends and family are either married, engaged or in a serious relationship. I work in student ministry and sometimes feel inadequate or feel as if the students would rather hear from others about different issues because they are in a "relationship." This has been a struggle for me whether or not God was using this time to bring Him glory through the good and the bad of waiting.
Well this year at camp I was asked to be on a panel of six ladies in a session called "Just for girls". In this forum the students would write down a question anonymously and then the panel would pass questions out to the different woman to answer. At the beginning the two leaders handed me several questions about "waiting on God" "What to do when you want a boyfriend but also want to wait on God's timing?" or "How do you deal with feeling left out cause you don't have a boyfriend?" and others along the same lines. I received questions from those wonderful woman and heard them say "you would be great to answer these." When I read those questions to myself, I almost began to cry. It was as if the Spirit of God just sat down next to me and said "Im going to use every season, and every hurt in your life to bring glory to my name IF you let me." I was overwhelmed that the sweet Lord would take my life and use it as a testimony for these girls. I couldn't believe that my story could help someone else or that they would want to hear it.
It was a privilege to be able to tell them about my season of life and let them know how the only thing that can fill a loneliness is the Lord. I was able to share about the precious and tearful times I have had with the Lord. I also was able to explain that its hard and its a real hurt but so is the REAL and amazing satisfaction and hope that only Christ can bring, IF we turn it over to HIM. I explained a little bit about waiting on the Lord and how that practically looks like and how it really FEELS like. I was reminded of the verses " Indeed, none of those who wait for You will be ashamed......(ps 25:3) Sitting there speaking to a room filled with high school girls speaking of waiting on the Lord, God reminded me that no one who waits on Him will ever be ashamed.
Be encouraged that no matter what your season if you give it ALL to the Lord, He will use it for His glory, even when you aren't aware of it. His purpose will always prevail. Remain faithful where He has placed you and watch Him use your season for His splendor!
Showing posts with label singleness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label singleness. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Heart Vulnerability
This post is difficult to write, not because of the words but because it is the most vulnerable post I have ever written, making it very hard for me. I believe as a follower of Jesus Christ I am called to be genuine and share what Christ is doing in my life and the seasons and molding He is doing in my hearts. That is why I have decided to write this.
As one of my friends reminded me the other day, there are many seasons in life, they are called seasons cause they change. The season of life I am is wedding season. Its seems like everyone is either getting married, married, engaged or about to be any day. For years I have said that I LOVE being single, and I really do enjoy this season of life, but that doesn't mean that I can't hope, pray and long for the marriage season of life. As the Lord showed me the other day, I can be content in Him, yet still feel a longing for a husband. The Lord has had to soften my heart to show me that its not wrong to feel real hurts and feelings. Sometimes it takes moments like that where our hardened shell is broken & humbled so that God can speak to our wounds.
The other night, after returning from a ministry meeting I arrived home and no one was there. I sat down and it hit me that my little brother was on his honeymoon, my other brother hanging out with his wife, my other brother hanging out with his serious girlfriend, and my parents were off together, just to name a few of my close friends. I thought, well I guess I will take this loneliness and just take the quiet evening to pray and read scripture. As I sat by the lake tears began to pour out from the deepest part of my heart, displaying something I didn't know existed. I was longing and desiring a companion like I have never before. I was pouring out my prayers before the Lord, feeling broken before Him, asking Him to be that in my life. When I was reminded its not unbiblical to desire a husband. In fact God created marriage and its a very biblical thing to desire and pray for. After being out there for a while my parents got home, as I was journaling I heard someone come up. It was my precious Papa, he was coming to sit and talk with me and asked if he could take me out on a boat ride. So we went on a boat ride on our lake and he let me talk, cry and was so compassionate and kind. Then he talked and prayed with me. My dad specifically prayed for my future husband and me in an incredible way. This was such a precious memorable time for me, as the man in my life poured into my heart and encouraged me in the Lord. I am so thankful for such a godly Father. I walked away from that time humbled beyond belief, because I was reminded of my prideful attitude of "I don't need a guy or want one" and how the Lord had shown me that in my vulnerability with Him, that the Lord has me in this season of growing and growing hurts sometimes. It was a healthy and wonderful time feeling something real and working through it with the Lord.
I wrote this not to make me sound like a girl who is dying to get married, because that is not what I am, I am very content on waiting on the Lord; But to encourage all of the other single ladies out there that feel the same way I do sometimes and feel like it is an ungodly way to feel. Sometimes our christianity makes it out like if you aren't completely satisfied, content, and not longing for a husband than you are not walking close with the Lord. I DO NOT believe this is true at all, in fact I think its a healthy stage of life to work through these hurts with the Lord, it doesn't make them totally go away but you grow in great ways through them. You can have an intimate walk with Jesus, being content in singleness yet desire and hope for marriage. That is completely normal and healthy. Just wanted to encourage some incredible single ladies I know that are in a season of waiting on the Lord. Keep seeking HIm, being vulnerable enough so God can soften your heart and mold & make you more like His Son.
Psalm 10:17
LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble;
You will prepare their heart;
You will cause Your ear to hear,
Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.
Psalm 33:20
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help
and our shield.
Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
As one of my friends reminded me the other day, there are many seasons in life, they are called seasons cause they change. The season of life I am is wedding season. Its seems like everyone is either getting married, married, engaged or about to be any day. For years I have said that I LOVE being single, and I really do enjoy this season of life, but that doesn't mean that I can't hope, pray and long for the marriage season of life. As the Lord showed me the other day, I can be content in Him, yet still feel a longing for a husband. The Lord has had to soften my heart to show me that its not wrong to feel real hurts and feelings. Sometimes it takes moments like that where our hardened shell is broken & humbled so that God can speak to our wounds.
The other night, after returning from a ministry meeting I arrived home and no one was there. I sat down and it hit me that my little brother was on his honeymoon, my other brother hanging out with his wife, my other brother hanging out with his serious girlfriend, and my parents were off together, just to name a few of my close friends. I thought, well I guess I will take this loneliness and just take the quiet evening to pray and read scripture. As I sat by the lake tears began to pour out from the deepest part of my heart, displaying something I didn't know existed. I was longing and desiring a companion like I have never before. I was pouring out my prayers before the Lord, feeling broken before Him, asking Him to be that in my life. When I was reminded its not unbiblical to desire a husband. In fact God created marriage and its a very biblical thing to desire and pray for. After being out there for a while my parents got home, as I was journaling I heard someone come up. It was my precious Papa, he was coming to sit and talk with me and asked if he could take me out on a boat ride. So we went on a boat ride on our lake and he let me talk, cry and was so compassionate and kind. Then he talked and prayed with me. My dad specifically prayed for my future husband and me in an incredible way. This was such a precious memorable time for me, as the man in my life poured into my heart and encouraged me in the Lord. I am so thankful for such a godly Father. I walked away from that time humbled beyond belief, because I was reminded of my prideful attitude of "I don't need a guy or want one" and how the Lord had shown me that in my vulnerability with Him, that the Lord has me in this season of growing and growing hurts sometimes. It was a healthy and wonderful time feeling something real and working through it with the Lord.
I wrote this not to make me sound like a girl who is dying to get married, because that is not what I am, I am very content on waiting on the Lord; But to encourage all of the other single ladies out there that feel the same way I do sometimes and feel like it is an ungodly way to feel. Sometimes our christianity makes it out like if you aren't completely satisfied, content, and not longing for a husband than you are not walking close with the Lord. I DO NOT believe this is true at all, in fact I think its a healthy stage of life to work through these hurts with the Lord, it doesn't make them totally go away but you grow in great ways through them. You can have an intimate walk with Jesus, being content in singleness yet desire and hope for marriage. That is completely normal and healthy. Just wanted to encourage some incredible single ladies I know that are in a season of waiting on the Lord. Keep seeking HIm, being vulnerable enough so God can soften your heart and mold & make you more like His Son.
Psalm 10:17
LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble;
You will prepare their heart;
You will cause Your ear to hear,
Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.
Psalm 33:20
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help
and our shield.
Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)